I am taking it upon myself to offer some Christmas shopping tips for the overworked, underpaid, over stressed, underappreciated, over- it shopper out there. Christmas is not about gifts. Material ones, that is. The best gift you can give to a fellow shopper is patience, understanding and a genuine smile.
It might be the mom whose kid's Autism is showing and he is having a meltdown in the middle of the store, or the mom struggling to keep her inconsolable daughter from screaming cuz she is having pains she cannot express any other way. It might be the little guy drooling cuz he has poor oral motor muscles, or has runny snots cuz mom can only do 9 things at once and doesn't notice it. Believe me, we know when our kids' diapers need to be changed...but I challenge anyone to find a changing table made for a kid bigger than a two-year-old. There is no such thing as 'running a quick errand'. We could make the most efficient project manager envious on a daily basis.
My advice: Don't stare. Don't plaster on a fake smile or pretend you don't notice the chaos that surrounds us moms. Don't pity us or look at our kids like they escaped from a freak show. Don't go on and on and on and on about how cute our kids are. Say it once if you feel like it, and if you don't have anything else to say, then don't.
Just smile genuinely, say 'merry Christmas', or whatever holiday you celebrate, and treat us like we want to be treated. Like everyone else.
Christmas brings out the best in people. I encourage everyone to act Christ(mas) like all year long!!!!
To quote the great Elvis Costello: "What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?!"
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Oh wow, Mo.... I can only imagine the painful experience you are talking about. I remember the days of shopping with short tempered, entitled people who think the world of themselves and really don't have a grasp of reality. I honor you brave souls who venture out and do what you have to. And when you take your beautiful children, who are perfect in our eyes, the people who have given you that prejudice, just need to be reminded that we are all just a car wreck or stroke away from our own calamity. Your kids are innocent but to have those capabilities taken away after having the abilities, well, that just may be God's expression of shut the F up!!!!! Shame on the people who can't know the grace of God's blessings and see the sweetness in caring for someone who needs caring. That is what we do for each other. That truly IS grace and one of our greatest gifts bestowed on us.
I am sorry you or anyone who you really care about had to experience such disrespect. I remember a really small and insignificant experience with Mike when he was 13 months old. We were in a card store looking for a Father's Day card for his favorite daddy. He was gently placing his right index finger on cards that appealed to him. I would then take the card out, read it out loud, and decide if it was the right one. The owner of the store came up to me and told me that my son was being disruptive to his cards. I was shocked and said we were there to choose the exact right Father's Day card for his favorite father. The man insisted that we leave because he didn't want dirty finger prints on his cards from a baby!!!!! You KNOW I am the queen of clean!!!! That was the day I realized that no one else sees my children the way I do. And that is the lesson here for all of the people with special needs. They ARE worthy of respect, dignity, kindness, sweetness, understanding, help, grace. You see, that is exactly what God wants us to SHOW when we have that opportunity. The flaws are in the people who fail to do that!!!!! They are the ones who need to work on their character. God doesn't make junk. He makes all of us in his image and we are all treasures. The ones who don't recognize the treasure, are the ones who turn themselves into junk!!!
I could go on and on. But I will stop here. I hope your shopping is finished and that all who are left to shop get through with grace and dignity.... and maybe some really awesome sales for their trouble and hard times!!!
Peace and blessings to all who read this. Know you are a treasure to the world.
Always much love, Terri
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