Lucky

I just feel lucky.  Blessed, is a better word.  Drew was having difficulty falling asleep again, so I went in his room to snuggle.  I  put in a CD I made for him years ago.  Remember the mixed tapes, from 'back in the day'?  We would spend hours waiting to hear a song on the radio, with our fingers poised on the 'record' button of our tape recorder.  We would try to time it just right, so that the DJ or commercials wouldn't ruin the song.  We would rewind, fast-forward, and otherwise manipulate the cassette tape so we could pack as many meaningful songs into a compilation as humanly possible.  Then we would proudly present this tape to a loved one and exclaim 'I made you a mixed tape!'.  Good times :)

Well, this CD was considerably easier to make...I just made a playlist on the computer and burned the CD. Ah, technology!  The songs all remind me of Drew; his spirit, his experience, his past, his future.  Either way, it is meaningful and when I hear the songs, I am energized by Drew's journey and his essence. 

Tonight, while he was finally relaxing enough to let sleep come, I realized that I would not trade these times for anything.  I thought of all the moms I knew, at that moment, who were doing the exact same thing as I  was.  Coaxing their babies to sleep.  Comforting them. Doing what it takes to make sure their babies knew they are loved and important.   I felt lucky.  Blessed. 

I tell Drew daily during our 'snuggle time' that there is nowhere else in the world I would rather be, than right here, right now with him.  I felt that power of all the moms tonight, at bedtime, that feel that same way.  All the moms that are too busy, too tired, too stressed, too sad, too overextended, but who do it anyway.   I feel lucky to be part of a such a group of strong women.  You know who you are.  But if you don't, I do.  God does.  Your kids do too.

"It's better to be a Lion for a day than a sheep all your life'~Sr. Elizabeth Kenney
Peace.